Doing the Trump

" You are FIRED!!"

That's what I will tell my doctor next Monday when I see him!!
Since my last post on my back thing, I have been calling in to the office to see if they had heard back from the scans, and if the know anything. I kept getting his nurse and she kept brushing me off, telling me she needed to call the hospital, or this and that excuse.
I tried to make an appointment with him, but he was too busy to see me, and was booked up. The soonest appointment was the 25th of this month, I took what I could get.

Keep in mind that I have been with this office for 5 years, and I have only seen him once, every other time I saw the PA and I love her, but she moved to another office the beginning of August, which will be the one that I will be transferring to as soon as I can.

Since this was the office I started this mess with I wanted them to tell me what was going on.
SO anyway, I went into my chiropractor and told him about it, so he requested the results from the hospital, and the next appointment he told me the results.

It's all good! Just a normal, benign, tumor. No big deal, yeah, it bothers me alot, and I will continue to get MRIs every 6 months or yearly, to monitor it's growth, and any changes in the cell structure, but taking care of it surgically will be more of a risk than living with it for now.

Yup, that's it, good news!!!

Why in the heck would the doctor's office stall on good news?
I understand bad news, don't tell me if I only have 6 months to live!! I don't want to know that!! If it's that bad, just let me fall over dead !!! I don't care!!
but if it's good news, that I don't want to waste energy on worrying about it, make sure you tell me right away!!!!
What a waste of my time!!!
So as you can imagine I'm just a little ticked off, just a little......

So doctor stupid, "You're Fired!! You and your entire office!!!"

Josh Wilson "Savior, Please" from Rive Video Promotion on Vimeo.

Thanks Nikki for sharing this with me.

I love how the spirit ministers to us through music.

We might not worship the Lord in the same "church" building, but we are all still worshiping the same God.

I love you my friend, thanks for your example and for sharing your testimony of Jesus Christ. We are ALL

chosen daughters of Heavenly Father, we just need to do our part in bringing others unto Him.

I hope that through all of my flaws and imperfections, others can see if even a small glimpse of Jesus in me,

just like how I see Him in you.

Summer Fun

Here are some goods pictures from my company picnic we went to last weekend. We had a really nice relaxing
time.

I Like Chocolate

I was going to forward this, But it's way too good and HAS to be on the blog!!!

It's my personal anthem!

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I’m not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt

There’s nothing left for me to figure out

I’ve paid a price

And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice

I’m not ready to back down

I’m still mad as hell

and I don’t have time to go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

‘Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said

Can’t you just get over it

It turned my whole world around

And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwc5YSAc-7g

Couldn't of said it better myself. My favorite line, " to do what it is you think I should". I have NEVER done anything just because others think I should do it, I have always gone by my own time line, making my own path.

I have been meaning to blog about this for a while and just kept putting it off, for one reason or another. Lately I have had several occasions to practice the "art of" forgiveness. I know what forgiveness is, I have read all the scriptures about it, I have prayed fervently about it, and always after I forgive someone and move on, I get yet another opportunity to demonstrate what I have learned. I will admit, it doesn't get easier, maybe even harder.

These two are my favorite scriptures on the subject, which I find myself referring to over an over again:

" Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to a forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. " D&C 64:9

21 ¶ "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I a forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until aseventy times seven." Matthew 18 21-22

I have often wondered why I keep tripping up on this one thing that is "forgiveness", probably because I have such a hardened heart that it takes forgiveness to be able to soften it up teach me the true love of Christ. The Lord knows how often I have gone to Him searching for forgiveness and every time I do so humbly , He has always been there to lift my sin and the burdens of it.

But how do I, the most imperfect person, forgive those that don't ask for forgiveness, or even acknowledge the wrong?

How do I wrestle with the feelings of resentment?

So far this is what I have learned of myself:

I have forgiven, truly and wholeheartedly ALL that have hurt me, even those who don't ask, or admit wrong doing.

To me forgiveness is a very personal truth in my heart, and NO ONE has the right to ask, "have you forgiven yet?" just like NO ONE has the right to ask,

" have you repented?" and I especially love this one; " have you gone to the bishop about it?"

No one has the right to tell me when I can or should forgive, like i said it is by my own timeline. Forgiveness is so personal to me that I don't think it's right to go around announcing my "forgiveness" to the world or even let that person know. Really, think about it, " hey, I forgive you" no that is not me.

To me forgiveness is the release of bitterness, the feeling of compassion for the offender, even though I may not understand the reasons of the offense.

Forgiveness is being honest with one's self, and humbly acknowledging our own imperfections and wrong doings. Knowing that we will be at some time on the other end.

Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning or accepting the actions that caused such pain, I may never understand the whys, I may never have answers.

Forgiveness for me is a selfish act, it is for my own peace and well being, it is for my own spiritual growth, it is because I am commanded to do so, and to have faith that the Lord will sort things out in the end.

So why the song at the beggining of the post?

Well, just like it says, "I am not ready to make nice". It might sound like a contradiction of forgiveness, but really to me, some people are ment to stay out of our lives.

Malaki's Ruff Day

Today I left work early to take Malaki to the health department for his shots.

Well, I "took"him to the appointment, can't say we actually made it in. Can't even say I got him to get out of the car.

There I am standing in the parking lot, in 100 degree heat, begging, bribing, threatening this child to get out of the car. While he jumped from seat to seat, front row to third row.

While I attempted to calm him down, I promised new games more swimming, McDonalds, IceCream, to ground him till he married, to spank him,( which I would have done, if I had caught him).

Finally after about 15 minutes of this, I gave up! I got back in the driver's seat and drove off, while Malaki buckled in his car seat a few blocks later.

I used the mom phrase, " straight to your room!", "I am selling the playstation! "

" You're grounded!"

I was soooooo mad!!!

Only to arrive a few minutes later at home and find Craig all upset cause the dog got out and bit a little kid , again. Craig had the dog in the back of his truck ready to head to the pound. This dog, just freaked out on us and turned really aggressive towards all, if not for the lack of "foam" around his mouth, I would swear he resembled Cujo.

So the above video is Malaki's reaction to the already "heated" situation.

Is it nap time yet?